i just got a Mailer Daemon & ALWAYS PICTURE HIM LIKE THIS!!!!!!
Where does Daemon put the email fail? Oh, my the intertubez are terribly complex! Note to self: I’d so love to do a Dante’s inferno inspired cartoon mapping out the Hinternetz Hades.
YELP HOLE: (NOW ON URBAN DICTIONARY!)
DEFINITION:
(Noun)
Example:
1) The pressure to find a brunch spot to make all of her friends happy drove Sally into a Yelp Hole. Hours later, her friends were texting her furiously, hungry and confused, and yet Sally remained in bed making lists of potential brunch spots, unsure of which to pick.
2) Gene was dreading his 29th birthday — not because he is nearing 30 but because the stress to select a celebration spot was driving him into a an extended several-week-long Yelp Hole. Eventually he let his frat brothers decide. And so, of course, they went to Brother Jimmies. Where everyone suffered North Carolina Pulled Pork Poisoning. All because Gene couldn’t fight the Yelp Hole. Shameful.
Source: Nielsen’s June 2010 report of What Americans Do Online.
This data provides a useful benchmark of where America is with usage but it also raises so much ambiguity too. It’s particularly intriguing to me that “Gaming” and “Multi-Category Entertainment” are not broken down further. I would love to know what the drill down there and also in the nebulous “Other” looks like.
As the line between these separate categories is converging, this kind of study becomes less useful. For example, Social Networking / Videos (YouTube). In the future I’d prefer that Nielsen consider either updating their categories or defining them more clearly now that the line between many of these areas is blurring.
For example:
These discrete categories are not discrete and the way we measure needs to catch up to how we use the internet.
> I want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.
> I can’t use the remote in a hotel room because I don’t know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
> I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
>
> I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa’s Novena has granted my every wish.
>
> I can’t have a drink in a bar because I’ll wake up in a bathtub full of ice with my kidneys gone.
>
> I can’t eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.
>
> I can’t use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.
»>
> I no longer drink Pepsi or Fanta since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put ‘Under God’ on their cans.
>
> AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can’t boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face.. Disfiguring me for life.
>
> I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.
> THANKS TO YOU I can’t use anyone’s toilet but mine because a big black snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it bites my ass.
>
> AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can’t ever pick up a Toonie dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting to grab me as I bend over..
>
> If you don’t send this reblog this to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s best friend’s beautician …
>
> Oh, by the way…..
>
> A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.
>
> Don’t bother taking it off now, it’s too late.
>
> PS: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by e-mail that water splashes over 6 ft. out of the toilet.
BREAKING NEWS: my bday is tomorrow & I expect 2263 gifts. or better yet GIFS (!) & links tagged #a0kbday or left below.
EVERYONE KNOWS there aint no party like an internet party cuz an internet party don’t stop. Moreover, it can span time zones. AND be multitasked and um CACHE MONEY wins?
SUPPLEMENTARY EDUCATION MATERIAL:
FAIL
WIN:
UNSURE IF THIS IS WIN OR FAIL
so earlier i was mad because today has been roouugh (so 30 mins ago, all is fine now).
anyway Jon (@jon1gk) asked me “what are you doing?” and I replied “I’m making eyes of fury” aka >_< but wayyy madderrrr and he was confused and clearly unable to picture such eyes.
i couldnt find them anywhere?! help, tumblr help! so i found the above image of SWAYZE (RIP) and sent it to him. the rest was amusing. i document thusly:
me: ok see the swayze but picture EVEN MORE MAD OK:
@jon1gk: HAHAHAHHA
me: yeah lol but SRS
@jon1gk: he’s mad but hes not committing!
me: YES BUT O I AMMMMM
@jon1gk: hes like “erm yeah im kinda mad about that thing yeah.”
me: FINE OK I FOUND IT NOW:
@jon1gk: there we go good work
me: also here too except the eye emotion is a bit lacking
@jon1gk: i see
me: he’s just more judgmental like he judge judy when she’s effin had it.
WHY IS THIS EMOTICON UNDERREPRESENTED U GUYS?
